Guest Blogger #3 for "Absolutely Me" Month - Vera Wylde
Vera Wylde is a model, burlesque performer and cross dressing advice video blogger. Off stage she's known to be quite a geek and a shameless flirt. (Taken from her Facebook fan page)
How do you describe your style?
As simple a question as that should be, I never know how to really answer that. My sense of style is largely informed by my life as a performer, so it can tend to get a little over the top sometimes. This is doubly so leading up to a show. But on the occasions I find myself just going out and about I suppose I aim for a kind of playful/casual look. Just a snug t-shirt and jeans much of the time. It's a look that works for me because it hugs my body in the ways that I like. See what I did there? That's my elegant way of saying I like shirts that really hug my tits.
I've also gotten a bit more easy going about letting my geek flag fly in terms of what kind of shirts I go out in. The fact that I have to wear my glasses (something I don't do in performance) probably fed into that a little bit. I think in lots of ways my going out style has become a marriage of what I try to bring to a stage performance and what I'm liable to just be laying about in around my house. It's a happy medium of the glam and the casual geek.
Where do you find most of your pieces?
Much of my shopping these days is done online. Amazon is usually the starting place and from, though I'll drift about the specialty sites for something in particular. I used to go out and shop in stores more when I was in New York. Part of that was just there were many more options for places to just pop into and browse around. Pickings in the Northeast Kingdom are a bit on the slim side. Though honestly most of the stuff I used to get in brick and mortar stores were what I consider to be basic essentials: jeans, tank tops, the kinds of things that you use to build a look but aren't really the look themselves. Since I've got a good stable of that kind of stuff I don't really need to go into brick and mortar stores anymore. That said, if I'm out and I happen to see something that catches my eye, I'm not above hitting the dressing room to see if it's worth getting.
Who/what inspires your looks?
At this point, just whatever I'm feeling that day. I've built up enough of a wardrobe that I can accommodate however playful, geeky or moody I might be that day. I've never had a style icon in terms of somebody I've strived to be. But I take certain attitude inspiration from P!nk, aiming for that "I don't really care what you think, I know I'm awesome" vibe that she's so good at. Another bit of an attitude inspiration is actually Jessica Rabbit. I've never tried to look like that, but I remember just being in awe of the power she had walking into a room and thinking "I want that." I don't go about getting it the same way she does, I don't have the hips for it. But I do try to command a space in that same fashion as best as I can.
What struggles do you face in society when people see you out and about & how do you handle it (be it positive or negative)?
I don't know because I really make a point of not caring. Well that's half true, I care what people think. Of course I do, everybody does. If we truly didn't care what people thought, we'd never change out of our pajamas. I suppose a more accurate way to put it is that I've adopted a "I know I'm awesome" attitude when I'm out. I know that's kind of a cocky thing, and if you play it wrong it can be bitchy even, but for me it's invaluable. Basically I've found that as long as you act like what you're doing is perfectly normal then nobody gives you crap about it, at least not to your face. People who are liable to bully you want to know that they can, bullies seek out the weak. So it's when you're out and have an unsure or tepid attitude that you become vulnerable. If you just go for it all out the people who might otherwise bother you tend to leave you alone, and the people who dig what you're doing will be all the more impressed. This attitude has served me very well, because in all the years I've been out I've never had a direct confrontation to what I was doing. The most has been an occasional "what the hell" that somebody tossed over their shoulder, and I can brush that off easily enough.
Any tips?
Don't be afraid to change your look. Mine has been ever evolving. When I first started going out in public I tried to emulate the other girls I was seeing, which didn't really work for me. I ended up going goth for a while, which actually worked quite well. But I allowed that look to soften and evolve over time and was careful to not lock myself into being "goth" or "punk" or whatever. Remember, the goal is to form a style that reflects you, not to force yourself to conform to some style template that only partly represents who you are.
Why do you do what you do?
Because it's too much a fundamental part of who I am for me to ever stop. It's not the only side of me, and it's not the only way I ever leave the house, but I do this because it's me. It's the reason to do anything really, do it because it's true to you and it fulfills you in some way. Because if it becomes more of a burden than a pleasure you need to stop doing it. There's work involved in all of this, to be sure, but it's worth it on the days I choose to do it.
